Wednesday, June 7, 2023

"Tommy Boy"

Yet another tale of la vie de la bohème, by Dan Leo

Illustrated by rhoda penmarq, through exclusive arrangement with quinnmartinmarq™ productions.

for previous story, click here

to begin series, click here





There were two urinals in the rest room, one of them occupied. Milford went over to the free urinal and began to unbutton the fly of his dungarees.

“Tell me,” said the man at the adjoining urinal, “are you perhaps a mariner, albeit not ancient?”

“What?” said Milford.

“I speak of your peacoat, sir, a traditional seaman’s outer garb.”

“What, no, I am not a seaman.”

“A longshoreman then?”

How Milford hated this. This was yet another reason not to go into bars, as if he needed another reason.

“You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to,” said the man, who had an English accent.

“Okay, look,” said Milford, “I’m not a sailor or a longshoreman, okay? And all I want to do is to micturate in peace.”

“No one’s stopping you from micturating.”


“I can’t micturate if someone is talking to me.”

“Oh. Well, excuse me for being a human being.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, mister, will you please just let me take a pee in peace?”

“Where I come from the working-class chaps call it ‘having a slash’.”

“Great, I’ll make a note of that.”

Milford finally heard the adjoining urinal flushing. Thank God.


The man went over to the wash basin, to Milford’s right.

“Only trying to make a bit of friendly conversation,” said the man.

“Well, I’m sorry,” said Milford, still waiting for the urine to escape from his so-called virile member.

“I very much doubt you are,” said the man, and Milford sneaked a quick glance at him, a thin man, sixty or older, in a brown tweed suit, as he turned on the water tap.


The sound of the running water at last freed Milford’s bladder, and Milford sighed, in tentative relief. He heard the man pumping the soap dispenser, and then singing, “Pour, Oh Pour the Pirate’s Sherry”, as he presumably began washing his hands.

In mid-line the man stopped singing, and said, “I suppose you are a poet then.”

Milford sighed, in mid-stream, but vanity bade him answer in the affirmative.

“I should have known,” said the man. “Even in my long-ago day many of the young poets affected proletarian modes of dress.


My quondam friend Ezra used quite often to be taken for an automobile mechanic or an itinerant farm laborer.”

Milford said nothing to this. All he wanted was to finish peeing and get out of this john as quick as possible.

“And, yes,” continued the man, “even in my day the young poets affected a frightful rudeness.”

At last Milford finished his business, gave his member a quick shake, and then flushed.

The man was still standing at the washbasin, still washing his hands, or pretending to do so.

“I’m a poet, too,” he said. “Perhaps you recognize me.”

Milford reluctantly looked again at the man.

“No, sorry,” he said.


“How terribly humiliating,” said the man. “I’ll be finished in just a mo, by the way. I like to get my hands antiseptically clean after the act of urination. I simply cannot bear the thought of touching someone else’s flesh unless the last traces of urine and penile sweat have been scoured from my fingers.”

Again Milford sighed, and began buttoning his fly, even though he preferred to wash and dry his hands before buttoning his fly. He waited, impatiently, while the man turned off the taps, and then began to dry his hands with a paper towel from the wall-mounted dispenser.


“All yours,” he said.

“Thanks,” said Milford, and he went over to the sink.

“I’m T.S., by the way,” said the man.

“T.S.?” said Milford.

“Yes. Short for Thomas Stearns.”

“Oh,” said Milford. “Hi.”

He turned on the taps.

“You can call me Tom,” said the man.


“Hi, Tom.”

“What’s your name?”

For the third time at least since coming into this john, Milford sighed, but then his ingrained politeness forced him to say, “Milford.”

“Very pleased to meet you, Milford,” said the man. “Do you still not know who I am?”

Milford pumped some soap from the dispenser, and reluctantly looked at the man again.


“No, sorry, should I?”

“My name is Eliot. T.S. Eliot.”

“Oh. Hi,” said Milford.

“That’s all, just ‘Hi’?”

Milford began washing his hands.

“Okay,” he said, “Very pleased to meet you, Mr. Eliot.”

“Well, that’s better.” The man had crumpled up his paper towel, and now he turned and made a one-handed layup shot to the wastebasket, and it bounced in off the wall.


“Two points. Boom.” He turned again to Milford. “Y’know, in my day, when I was your age, if I had met an older and much revered poet I should have been delighted, jumping up and down and panting with my tongue wagging out like a puppy.”

“Look, Mr. Eliot,” said Milford, “all I want to do is finish washing my hands and get out of this rest room and rejoin my friends, okay?”

“Oh, I suppose you find all this awkward?”

“Yes, I do.”


“I’m not some debased toilet trader, you know. I am quite heterosexual.”

“That’s great, Mr. Eliot.”

“What’s so great about it?”

His hands rinsed, Milford turned off the taps.

The man cranked a paper towel from the dispenser and handed it to Milford.

“Thanks,” said Milford.

“Don’t mention it. Have you read my poetry?”


“Yes. Some of it.”

“And what did you think?”

“It was okay, for its time, I suppose.”

“’Okay’?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, and whose poetry do you like?”

“Look, Mr. Eliot –”


“Call me Tom, Wilbur.”

“It’s Milford.”

“Call me Tom, Milford. Or Tommy Boy.”

“Okay, ‘Tom’,” said Milford. “I like some of the more current poets.”

“Oh, really, like who?”

“I don’t know. Dylan Thomas.”

“Oh, my God, not that ragamuffin!”


“He may be a ragamuffin, but I believe he is the finest poet of our time.”

“Bollocks.”

“Okay, fine,” said Milford. He crumpled up the paper towel and tossed it at the waste basket, missing it by a foot.

“You missed,” said the man. “I take it you were not the captain of your high school basketball team.”

“Look, nice meeting you, Mr. Eliot,” said Milford, “but I want to get back to my friends.”


“I’m only trying to make friendly conversation.”

“But I told you, Mr. Eliot –”

“Tom.”

“I told you, ‘Tom’, I find this very awkward –”

“Perhaps because you are a latent homosexual.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Fuck me?”


“Yes, fuck you.”

“May I ask why you say that?”

“Because you are incredibly annoying, and, yes, borderline obnoxious.”

“It’s because I think your hero Dylan Thomas is shite, isn’t it?’

“Oh my God, you are really unbelievable.”

“In what sense am I unbelievable?”

“In every sense.”


“Oh, right, so I just try to be a little friendly, and now all of a sudden I am ‘the bad chap’. Well, let me tell you something, my fine young bloke, mon petit pretentious poetaster, I am not the bad chap here.”

“It’s bad guy.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“The phrase is ‘bad guy’, not ‘bad chap’.”

“Don’t correct my English, you young pup, I’ve forgotten more English than you’ll ever know.”


“Oh, yes, and aren’t you from St. Louis, Missouri? What’s up with the fruity English accent?”

“Blast you for your impertinence. I have lived in England for many years, far more than I ever lived in St. Louis, and so have naturally acquired a Received or Oxbridge accent.”

“And yet Englishman live in this country for fifty years, and never lose their original accents. It’s only insecure Midwesterners like you who lose their accents after a summer college course in England.”


“Why, you nasty little – and, please, pardon my choice of word but no other applies – cunt.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Cunt, and a right proper one as well.”

“Oh, my God, y’know, I thought I was a pretentious and self-absorbed ass, but compared to you I’m a goddam regular guy.”

“You mean a right proper bloke I presume.” 


At this Milford heaved one more sigh.

“Okay, look, Tom, or Tommy Boy, I really don’t want to get into all this, okay? Goodbye.”

“You’re not angry at me, are you?”

“I’m not angry but I’m annoyed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Can we be friends?”


“Sure.”

“Put ‘er there, old chap.”

And the man extended his thin hand, the only sort of hand he had, and, reluctantly, Milford took it in his own soft pallid hand.

“Please don’t judge me harshly,” said the man. “Someday you will be old.”

“If I live long enough.”

“Yes. Quite.”


He continued to hold onto Milford’s hand with his own bony hand.

“May I have my hand back?” said Milford.

“I’m really not homosexual. Just a trifle drunk is all. Had a rather late lunch with the chaps from my firm’s New York office, and, well, one martini led to another, heh heh.”

“I don’t care, but I would still like my hand back.”

“Yes, of course,” said the man, and at last he opened his hand, freeing Milford’s, with a soft susurrant sound like that of two lizards disembracing after the act of coitus. 


“Y’know,” said the man, “I like you, kid. You don’t look like much, but, frankly, neither did I at your age.”

“Uh –”

“You got balls.”

“Okay,” said Milford. “Well –”

“Hold on. I want to give you something.”

“Um –”

The man reached inside his suit and brought out a black fountain pen, trimmed in gold.


“I want you to have this.”

“Your pen?”

“Not just ‘a’ pen. This is ‘the’ pen. The one I wrote The Waste Land and ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ with, and so many other poems now considered modern classics.”

“Wow.”

“Go ahead, take it.”

“Well, only if you insist.”

“I do.”


Milford took the pen, unscrewed the cap, looked at the nib, then recapped it. 

“Nice,” he said.

“Montblanc,” said the man. “Not cheap, but to you I give it for free, gratis, and for nothing.”

“Thanks.”

“I ask only one thing in return.”

“Oh?”


“Yes, and that is that with that pen you write your generation’s Waste Land.”

“Okay.”

“Consider this me passing you the baton. And just as I was the poetic voice of my generation, I want you to be the voice of yours.”

“All right,” said Milford. “I’ll try.”

“Don’t try. Just do it, man.”

“All right, I will.”


“Good boy. Now get out of here.”

“You’re not coming?”

“I will, but I want you to leave first. If we leave together people might get the wrong idea.”

“Well, all right.”

“I’ll just lay back here a minute, spark up a fag.”

“A fag?”


“A smoke. A fag is what we call a cigarette in England, you know, a gasper.”

“Oh –”

“Take care of that pen, Wilfrid.”

“I will. Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it. Now bugger off. Go join your friends.”

“Okay,” said Milford, and at last he went to the door, opened it, and went out.

next story




Wednesday, May 31, 2023

"A Generation"


Another tale of la vie de la bohème, by Dan Leo

Illustrations and additional dialogue by rhoda penmarq, through exclusive arrangement with quinnmartinmarq™ productions.

for previous story, click here

to begin series, click here





Now what? thought Milford. What happens now? Do I continue to stand here in this crowded noisy bar, next to this beautiful young woman smoking her cigarette and sipping her brandy and staring at the reflection of herself in the mirror behind the bar? Do I endeavor to engage further in conversation with her? 

To his left Addison and Polly seemed to be happily enjoying whatever it was they were talking about, and Milford thought, Why can’t I ever happily enjoy a conversation? What is wrong with me? What is not wrong with me? No wonder I became an alcoholic! Who could blame me? 


And yet there was still the prospect of losing his virginity with Bubbles, she had agreed to oblige him, out of the sacred goodness of her heart. But why must he wait?

“Excuse me, Bubbles?” he dared to say.

She turned and looked at him.

“What?”

“I wonder, would it be untoward of me to ask, I was just wondering –”

“Spit it out, daddy-o.”


“I wonder if we could just leave now.”

“What, you and me?”

“Yes.”

“Keep your shirt on, pal.”

“Oh.”

“I need to unwind a little bit. Like I said, maybe later tonight. Then if you’re still around and I’m not too tired maybe we can head over to my trap for a few minutes.”

“Oh, gee, that would be swell.”


“For you, maybe.”

“Heh heh –”

“So relax, pal.”

“Okay, sure. I can wait.”

“You’re gonna have to.”

“Yes, of course.”

She turned her lovely face away again, but a demon forced words to emerge from Milford’s mouth.


“So, Bubbles, tell me, what authors do you like to read?”

Once again she turned and looked at him, but she said nothing.

Milford went on, fool that he was.

“Or poetry? Who are your favorite poets? What do you think of Dylan Thomas?”

She continued to stare at him.

Undaunted, or, rather, daunted, but unable to help himself, Milford said, “Or films? Have you seen that new Cocteau at the Waverly? I found it quite fascinating –”


“Listen, Rutherford.”

“Milford, actually.”

“Listen, Milford, if you’re gonna keep it up with this malarkey, you can just take that ten bucks of yours right now and shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

“Sorry.”

“There’s one thing guys like you don’t understand.”

“What’s that?”


“It’s okay just to say nothing sometimes.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and you know why?”

“Uh –”

“Because if you say nothing you’re not saying something stupid. So do me a favor, and let me just sit here in peace for a while. If I feel like talking, I’ll give you the high sign. Okay?”

“Yes, sorry.”


“Talk with Scooter and Miss Sunshine there if you have to talk, but in the meantime, just let me sit here and enjoy my Christian Brothers and my Philip Morris.”

“Okay,” said Milford.

And Bubbles turned to gaze at her reflection in the mirror again.

She was magnificent!

But now what should he do? His ginger ale was all gone. Should he dare to ask the bartender for a refill? He didn’t even like ginger ale.


How he wished he too could drink a brandy, several brandies! But, no, brandy wouldn’t help, and if anything it might even hinder him if Bubbles did indeed deign to attempt to relieve him of the curse of his virginity this night.

He turned to Addison to his left, Addison who was now saying to Polly:

“But, don’t you think, Polly, that the novel of today – if indeed there even is to be a novel of today – simply must cast off the shackles not only of narrative, but – yes, and please feel free to disagree with me – that of ‘meaning’ itself?


For what is meaning, qua meaning, but an attempt to give some sort of, some sort of, what’s the word –”

“Meaning?” said Polly.

“Yes!” said Addison. “What is meaning but an attempt to give ‘meaning’ to a world which is so plainly and finally devoid of meaning?”

“That’s exactly what I think!” said Polly. “Why must everything always mean something?”

“Precisely!” said Addison.


Yes, thought Milford, they were right, they were both right, it was all meaningless. And then, as it so rarely did in novels or in poems, nature stepped in and called.

“Excuse me,” he said, to no one in particular, and he took a step away from the bar, brushing Addison’s shoulder as he did.

“Hey, where are you going, buddy?” said Addison.

“I, uh, I just have to –”

“Don’t leave, Milton!” said Polly.


“I’m, uh, not leaving, I just have to, uh –”

“Aren’t we going to have dinner?” said Polly.

“Oh, dinner, yes, I suppose so, I mean if you still want to, um –”

“Then don’t leave!” she cried. “I am having such a good time! Hatcheson and I were just talking about how the modern novel should cast off the shackles of meaning! Don’t you agree?”

“Oh, yes, entirely, but, you see, I just have to –”


“Oh,” said Addison. “I see.“

“You do?” said Milford.

“Yes,” said Addison. “You have to what the chaps back in the parachute factory called ‘strangle the worm!’”

“Heh heh –”

“What does strangle the worm mean?” said Polly.

“Well, my dear –” said Addison –


“Look, I’ll be right back,” said Milford.

“We’ll save your spot,” said Addison.

“Thanks,” said Milford. He glanced at Bubbles, but she was paying no attention, still seemingly absorbed in her own reflection in the mirror.

“Tell me about strangle the worm, Halford!” said Polly, whom Milford noticed was now smoking a cigarette.

“Ha ha,” said Addison.


“Yes, well, maybe later –” said Milford, and he set forth, away from the crowded bar and into the crowd of people milling between the bar and the tables, towards the back of the bar and the rest rooms, through the cigarette smoke and the jukebox music and and the laughter and shouting, and he had not gone five paces when that little man Lucas Z. Billingsworth shouted at him from a nearby table where he sat with four other fellows.

“Hey, Marvin! Come over here, some fellas I want you to meet!”

“Um, uh –”


“Come here!”

Milford didn’t know why, but he went over. Lucas was sitting at a round table with these four other guys, and they were all looking at him.

“Gentlemen,” said Lucas, “this is my new friend, Mar-”

“Milford,” said Milford. “My name is Milford.”

“Milford,” said Lucas. “And as you might gather by his peacoat and his newsboy’s cap, the dungarees, and, yes, the sturdy work shoes, not to mention the Hemingwayan ribbed sweater, he is a poet!”


The four other men all said variations of, “Hiya, Milford.”

“I was telling Merton that he needs to join a likeminded crowd of other scribes.”

“Well, the thing is,” said Milford, “I was just on my way to the men’s room –”

“You must join us after you’ve done your business, Griffin,” said a thin blond man in a brown suit. “We are just about to launch a new movement, and you might want to join us.”


“Um, well –”

“I sense a good aura about you,” said a young guy with glasses. “A holy aura.”

“Are you in the merchant marine?” said a guy with dark hair and strong jaw.

“Um, no, not exactly,” said Milford.

“We could use some fresh blood for our movement,” said a small guy with curly hair.

“Well, I really have to go to the bathroom,” said Milford.


“All right, beat it,” said Lucas. “We’ll still be here.”

“Just don’t beat it while you’re in there, kid,” said the thin blond guy.

“What?” said Milford.

“And while you’re in there,” said the square-jawed guy, “try to think of a good name for our movement.”

“A name?”

“Every movement needs a name,” said the little guy.


“Okay, I’ll, uh, –”

The group suddenly seemed to lose interest in him, and so Milford forged forth again through the bodies towards the rear of the bar and the men’s room. Beat it. Don’t beat it, kid. He finally got what the guy meant. No, he would not beat it. He was saving himself for Bubbles. Beat. Beat it. He was beaten, though. Always beaten. Beaten before he started. He got to the door marked MEN, and then he paused, as he always did before entering a public lavatory, not quite consciously afraid that some brute behind that door would beat him up, or worse.


Beaten, yes, always and forever beaten, even if not physically, but mentally, psychologically, and morally! Beaten…But perhaps he should join those fellows with their new movement. It would be nice to belong to some sort of group besides dreary dull Alcoholics Anonymous. But what would they call themselves, he and his fellow ‘scribes’, they who were beaten down by a world that didn’t care a whit about higher things? What could they call themselves? They who had been so mercilessly and brutally beaten by a society that only worshipped Mammon?

And then he had it!

Boldly Milford pushed open the door. 

Quickly, he must relieve himself and join his new friends, and tell them he had a name for their movement, the perfect name…

The Beaten Generation!

next story